Who should Post Op-Transsexuals be allowed to Marry? The short answer to this question is “Anyone they bloody well want to”. Not one to say in 5 words though what I can say in 500, I will expound. This is a subject I happen to know a great deal about. I have a number of transsexual friends who I both admire and respect.
Forget, for a second, your preconception about flamboyant gay men dressing up like Cher for the lip synching contest at the local gay bar. Instead imagine a person who from childhood never felt right in their own body. Imagine a person tortured by this night and day. “What’s the big deal?” you ask. Guys joke that if they had boobs they would never leave the house. Girls muse that if they had a dick that they’d play with it. EVERYONE admits they’d like to see what it’s like just for a day, to be the opposite gender. If you aren’t one of the "everyone", you are LYING!
So then, is transsexualism a fetish… just people taking their imagination too far? The answer is that gender exists between the ears, not between the legs. In fact, almost none of the people we will ever meet in life will ever check between our legs to see what we are packing. Gender also exists on a continuum. It’s not a one side or another sort of thing. The fact is that some people are in fact born in bodies that don’t match their brains. From an age before they are capable of knowing anything of sexuality, they feel like they don’t fit in their bodies.
Contrary to popular belief, 80% of transsexual people are attracted to their felt gender, meaning that a male to female transsexual, post-op would choose women as partners, making them lesbian, and female to male transsexuals would choose male partners, making them gay post op. What then is the point? Very simply put, the things that we like about our given genders have very little to do with sex. When girls give a shout out to how cool it is to be girls, do they mean “it’s so awesome to have sex with men?” NO. There is something more to it. When guys say “It’s a guy thing” are they saying “We are talking about sex with women?” NO. The fact is that gender and sexuality have very little if anything to do with each other.
“But Sevastian, I don’t understand”. The really cool thing is that you don’t HAVE to understand. Seriously, it’s not really your business or mine. The fact is that post operative transsexuals have a greater than 90% success rate in terms of finding happiness and peace between their bodies and brains and if making some physical and social alterations to their being is what it takes to make them happy, then AWESOME. I’m all for it. There is a reason that most states will now alter the birth certificates and driver licenses of post operative transsexuals to reflect their true gender rather than the nature of their genitalia at birth. Minds greater than mine have made the determination to value the individual in than manner.
So back to the question… once these people have found happiness, who should they be allowed to marry? Easy, “Whoever they bloody well want to. That’s who”
10 comments:
...So long as they are honest to the person they are marrying.
Absolutely... I think that's a prerequisite of any marriage
Why just post-op? Are you saying that pre-op and non-op transpeople should not be allowed to marry?
nope... I simply wanted to ask one question vs. another. I think anyone should be allowed to marry whoever they want to marry period... so long as the parties are of the age of consent and both consent.
"Contrary to popular belief, 80% of transsexual people are attracted to their felt gender, meaning that a male to female transsexual, post-op would choose women as partners, making them lesbian, and female to male transsexuals would choose male partners, making them gay post op."
Would you please post the source of this figure? Thanks.
Unfortunately, It is knowledge I gained and retained about 3 years ago in the course of writing a novel about transsexual people. It won't take much research for you to find, however that these numbers hold up and that Transsexualism is not about who people wish to sleep WITH but rather who they wish to sleep AS.
But I see that you already know that :)
Doing a little research I can't find -anything- that matches with your numbers. I was instantly skeptical as they're the opposite of what I remembered reading. This one is something I think you might want to dig back up before you continue citing it, as it seems dubious at best to me.
My impression from within the community is indeed the opposite, that the majority of trans people a straight. And that while the minority who are gay or lesbian are larger then the general population, it isn't by a significant margin.
The majority of trans-people are not even close to straight post op. I know A LOT about this subject matter... forgotten more than most know. While I suspect you know a fair bit yourself, the best suggestion I can give you... Ask 100 transpeople who they prefer to sleep with and use your own data.
Looking at my list of bloggers, I see several whose sexual orientation is either toward men men (or who even have a boyfriend) or includes men. A small sample, I realize, but I do think you'll find that *most* trans women prefer men, some trans women prefer women, and some prefer both.
Not that long ago, trans women had to swear that they were sexually attracted to men or they would not be allowed to transition, at least not via the usual channels. The idea that trans people might be gay is fairly new.
The American Psychological Association states that in most cases sexual orientation does not change after transition. In other words, if you were attracted to women as a man, you'll be attracted to women as a woman. I've found some anecdotal evidence that it's more like if you were attracted to your opposite as a man, you'll be attracted to your opposite as a woman. I wrote to the APA to ask if there had been any research done on that, but I haven't received an answer yet.
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